The Trial of the Century

The Plaintiff: A large blue elephant slide, ever so generously donated to AJ from cousins Julia and Nate. This pachyderm is accused of allowing the defendant to fall from the second step landing forehead first on the cold, hard ground, sustaining cry and whimper-worthy injuries.

The Defendant: Alexander James (AKA: AJ, me). He is accusing the plaintiff of negligence for not informing him ahead of time that it's not wise to go down the stairs backwards and that jumping from the second step is not advised. AJ sustained these lovely bumps and bruises, not to mention the emotional embarrassment of crying in front of his cousins. There's nothing worse than blowing his cover of ultra 'coolness'.

Who's really guilty? MOMMY and DADDY! Who puts a slide on the patio and not the soft grass? Hello--I'm still little and fall all the time. Duh.

Hey wait. Who selected this cute photo of Mommy and Daddy. Back in the days before I arrived to spice up their lives. Let's pick some better incriminating photos to punish them for their wrong doing-

Ahh, my favorite photo of Mommy. She sure looks like hell warmed over, doesn't she? I guess she was in labor with me at the time. Likely excuse.


And look at Daddy. He looks CRAZY! I guess I do tend to have that effect on people.

Okay, I've had my revenge. I think I had my revenge on the day I fell. Mommy was really scared because I wasn't really crying, just whimpering and I looked all lethargic. Luckily Auntie Rasa was there (she's very experienced in the art of caring for fallen children--Jakie and Lily are daredevils and my mentors). She knew the fine art of looking in my pupils for equality. Then she did the perfect thing--she gave me Goldfish crackers. I stopped whimpering INSTANTLY. My parents have a lot to learn.
Amateurs.

PS: Sorry I haven't posted in a while. My publisher (Mommy) and Daddy have been quite sick with some tuberculosis-type-bug. They are better now. Thankfully I didn't get very sick, just a booger nose which I enjoy rubbing on everyone--more revenge.

Treasure Trove

Look what I found in a big box. Some cool stuff from Daddy's old work. His friend Sonja was sure nice enough to drop it off at our house the other day--much to Daddy's chagrin. I wonder why he didn't take any of this stuff with him? There's some stale crackers, old calendars, a pair of cool Blues Brothers sun glasses, a disgustingly dirty mouse pad and tons upon tons of Dum Dums. I sure wish I could have a Dum Dum.

Oh, he also forgot this hat. NCITE is some engineering club type thingo. Maybe I should try out for the Twins. I'm sure they could use a Lego loving, future engineer-type on their team. I bet I'd be better than some of the hooligans they have now. Look for me on the roster.

Leggo My. . .Lego!

Hi! Have you ever heard of Legos? If not, holy cow, you don't know what you are missing. For about the last month or two I have been in full Lego tower production. I play with them wherever and whenever. Here I am with my Legos in the basement playroom.

Next we traveled upstairs and I quickly settled in with my upstairs Lego stash. Busy, busy, busy!

Footage of me hard at work.

Then Mama said it was time to eat, but I had so much Lego work to catch up on I had to bring some to lunch with me. Mama didn't care as long as I kept eating. She can be a tyrant about that, you know.

Oh, an afternoon nap sure sounds good. But there's so much work to do, I better bring my Legos to bed with me.

Ahh, my evening at the spa. Oh, Lego tower, will you ever be completed?

Sometimes I ponder my obsession with Legos. Why must I constantly carry at least one Lego everywhere with me (even to church and the restaurant)? Why are they so Lego-licious? Then it occurred to me. I vaguely remember Daddy talking to me when I was in the womb telling me Legos are the absolute, best toys in the entire world and if I like them when I grow up, I can play with his vast Lego collection from when he was a kid--and we all know that's a long time ago, they must be ancient. So, here's to Legos. The absolute, best toy in the world. PS: when I say Lego, of course I mean Lego Duplos. I'm still too little for the big kid ones, but I'm getting there.

Boredom

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt,

so sexy it hurts."
(Lyrics from the ever popular song "I'm Too Sexy" by none other than Right Said Fred)

Yes, I've learned how to undress myself. There is nothing more fun than running around the house semi naked. Mommy and Daddy are glad I haven't figured out how to remove my diaper yet . . . I think I'll have to consult my seasoned cousins on that one.